Less Than Original

Neeett surfers watch funny joke videos all the time, so I never feel like I bring anything new to the table when I post/send links to funny joke videos. If I had any sort of motivation to make videos they probably would not be very funny jokes, even if I laughed a lot to myself in the dark when I am all alone.

I really like outdated commercials though. Louie the Lightning Bug is not really outdated just awesome, and his songs are timeless and educationally relevant even to today's wired-up mobile-on-the-go-to-the-future kids. Not so relevant are hip-hop/rap-themed commercials made and starring guys who were obviously out of touch and irrelevant even when they were current.

This video combines the funny joke of rapping commercial with one of my other favorite things, Unfortunately Awkward Store Names. Gas stations are the kings of the bad names (eg, 'Kum & Go', 'Pump & Munch', 'Toot 'N Totem', etc), though I did used to run ads for an old guy small town appliance store called 'S&M Appliances'. Maybe they got the funny joke, maybe not. Anyway, check out this video for Moo and Oink:



It was all pretty straightforward in its weirdly comedic, excitable view of wanting different kinds of meat, until the prolonged 'Moooooooo and Oiiiiiink' squeal at the end.

I dont want to build up this next one too much, because I am sure it is a funny joke commercial staple and I dont want to sound like I discovered it. Its funny, and it keeps gettin funnier, every SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOURE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY! NOW WHADDYOU THINK?!?!? You think I'm qualified?



Oh yeah: after I showed the above 'mini..... mmmall' video to my girlfriend she insisted that I find the eagle insurance commercials she remembers from the Chicagoland area. I was super impressed of course, and am jealous of anyone who is involved in the production of these excellent projects.



This isnt the best video quality of available Eagleman videos, but it is superior because it is obviously a later edit with a high quality egg-dumping animation, and the eagleman landing in traffic animation that comes at the end during the low-rate pitch. Completely worth it. Oh, and they obviously reshot the 'I've got something for you' to be less creepy. Compare and contrast at your leisure.

Tunnel

Walk/bike tunnel that only smells like piss sometimes.

Tunnel flutes

Flautists in a tunnel, duh.

Something Schmaltzy

Its a picturesque morning foot commute to be sure, but i could do without all the dog piss. This is Karlavagen, by the way.

Snowy night pizza

Wall projection football on a super snowy night at the 'actors' pizza place. A cold beer never hurts.

Just Climb a Pole and Take it, dummy!

I guess I really shouldnt be so surprised by the various fetish properties that people collect. When I was in my early teens I thought that I was going to be a comic book geek and collect all sorts of rare books. To this day I tend to pick up any random junk in the street if it looks interesting (a plastic ring with a monkey on it is a nice recent pick-up).

Nevertheless I was completely shocked by the esoteric fascination with glass insulators. The slightly phallic glass (sometimes porcelain) knobs that were used on telephone polls to protect the polls from the electrical current can still be seen on many older utility polls, and apparently some people like to climb the polls and take the knobs for their collections.

What really baffled me as I browsed this guy's website was the question 'But what do you DO with them?'. As is generally the case with eccentric collectors, the answer is nothing. 'Look at it!' 'Appreciate it!' 'Listen to me talk about the history of insulators!' I expect every family member and friend has been given these commands at one time or another. My grandmother is a notable exception, having not once forced her grandchildren to listen to the stories behind her extensive bell collection. (Probably why when she died there arose many heated arguments over who got which bell. I got no bells…)

But since I am such a weird pack rat, I am oddly moved to go insulator hunting the next time I am at home in small-town Iowa. I remember thinking that there were an awful lot of green glass pepper shakers lining the railroad tracks as a kid; imagine if I had stumbled upon a rare aqua-colored Hemingray E3 and just kicked it aside like garbage; MADNESS!!

For futher reading, see:
www.myinsulators.com (directory of insulator collectors. i would recommend Russ Frank's Insulator Page, Hungarian Insulators, and Rod and Jo's Insulator page. )
www.hemingray.net (one man's devotion to all things Hemingray, insulators and other glass products)
www.lappinsulator.com (insulator manufacturing and sales, in case you need insulators)
Some sites may link to ''THE place to be for insulator collectors'', aka insulators.com, but it is now a generic ad/search page so don't bother.

Do it Rockabilly-san

Cultural evolution fascinates me, especially seemingly dissimilar cultures cherry-picking elements from one another. This isnt the best example, but I think of simple food items like Canadian Bacon and French Toast being staples in American cuisine (kind of a strange descriptor for Canadian Bacon and French Toast, though I guess I set that one up with the capitalization). At some point, a very 'worldly' person or persons said to his chums ''This is bacon in Quebec!!'', or a similar scene with similar people except the bacon is bread and the place is Brittany, or some such place. (Is it possible that French Toast came from French Canadiennes, rather than French Frenchmen? C'est possible)

Anyway, here is some dumb video that is kind of funny, and somehow brings Japanese, rockabilly and Swedish pop music together and makes them get it on.

Peter Bjorn and John "Nothing To Worry About"

Impossible - Things Are Happening Every Day

Nothing too groundbreaking here, if you keep up with obscure trend news (I dont, but I do spend a lot of time dicking around on the internet, and the happened to fall into my Venn Diagram of various interests): but, good news!

Apparently a group of workers at the Polaroid manufacturing center somewhere in a Netherland got together and decided to resucitate the dead/dying instant film market. Since the plant stopped production in June of last year, they have struck a deal with Polaroid to lease the plant and equipment and hash pipes and whatnot. They call it project Impossible (the Dutch version of the show 'Mission Impossible' must have had a really wild Dutch title; or these people are completely clueless about clever branding; or, they are smarter than branding dickheads and didnt want to be obvious; anyway, they decided not to call it ''Mission'' Impossible for some inscrutible reason), and its great that they are doing it.

What I love best about this story is that I know a number of photo people who ran out and bought up all the Polaroid instant film in their neighborhood/city/country/whatever, spending god knows how much on film. I never checked, but I am sure that ebay and other auction sites must have had a thriving gouge-market for Polaroid film, and now all these guys are broke but have tons of Polaroid film and they are real smug about it. Maybe - just maybe - the joke is on them. Or on me. Or POLAROIIIIIIIIIID!!!

Brave corporate logo

Why wouldnt a construction company have a penis in overalls as its logo? And such an outgoing, welcoming Penis at that. Have a happy fiscal 2009, wood penis builders.

Clean

Hey all you slobs start tucking your cardigans in right now, duh.

Workstation? Jerkstation.

Super connected. Is this new wave? Am i on board?

Royalty

Really, this is what i do all day. Except sometimes i do it on the computer.

Logjammin'

a good boyfriend/husband is expected at times to purchase things he might rather avoid: tampons, bouquets, anything soy-based, etc. but there are things that we are all embarrassed to buy, for whatever reason. people ashamed of their sex life abhor shopping for contraception, people ashamed of their hairline hate asking for propecia, and people who poop a lot hate buying lots of toilet paper.

i find it really amusing that everyone considers buying toilet paper to be an embarrassing event. of course there is the issue with buying 20 rolls at once because they all come in huge oversized packages; thats kind of embarrassing. plus, said huge packages dont have any sort of handle or grip to them, so the package itself is super awkward to carry and it doesnt fit in any reasonable-sized grocery bag.

however, i would think the act of buying toilet paper is something of a public statement of hygenic observance. in buying toilet paper, you take a moment to reaffirm to your fellow shoppers and the clerks - and everyone you pass on your way home - that 'Yes! I choose to clean my shitty ass rather than let it let it crust up and crumble off in its own time'. i should think that a civilized society would appreciate that sort of considerate behavior.

Sincerely Yours,

Joel Lively
Proud wiper since 1981

Wacky Artist Revue

i just saw a bunch of pieces by this guy Federico Uribe (http://www.federicouribe.com/). as always, disregard if you know him and are tired of him and his nonsense.

i especially like the shoelace 'paintings'. they make me think of clay stop-motion animation (there has got to be an easier way to say that) that i think i saw on sesame street. a bunch of little play-doh worms that slither around and squish together and do things. anyway, these 'paintings' remind me of that, but i think i just like it cause feels somehow more deliberate than oil and canvas and brushes. like, it seems to me that you can only manipulate shoelaces so much, unlike the subtleties of painting.

im sure frederico would tell me that the shoelace is a subtle and unpredictable medium, but i wouldnt really buy it, even if i nodded appreciatively and smoothly changed the subject to colored pencils.