Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Click to Riches


At first glance, freelance writing seems to be a big crappy mess. Sure, some sites dress up their crappy job opportunities by making them blog-related, or podcast-related, or virealball-related (the next big thing; you know, virtual reality football), but they are all sad for the same reason. Contributors aren't paid for facts, cleverness, or even boobage. Paychecks are instead divvied out according to ad-revenue, which is so completely sad. In fact, I wouldn't want anyone who clicks on embedded ads to be reading my articles. Does anyone still try to 'Shock the Monkey', or beat the guy in a swimming race, or do 10 pull-ups before the ad can? Crazy.

Then again, I apparently missed the boat on this phenomenon. As a matter of fact, my web content has been driving traffic to some completely bullshit websites for years. In college I wrote a faux-advice column for our paper, Chips (I don't know why it was called Chips). It was called the Lively Lagnappe, and I would make up questions, pretend someone sent them in to me, and answer them in funny, unexpected ways. Fairly juvenile, but entertaining and maybe helpful. Who knows?

These were all archived on the Chips website of course. I am fairly certain that my column no longer exists in the Chips archives. I haven't the foggiest idea where they may have gone, but suffice it to say I was disappointed to find them gone during a recent search. But my disappointment was nothing compare to my surprise when I found my columns littering websites hocking female condoms or offering varied information on deja vu.

http://www.rapex.co.za/The-Lively-Lagnappe/

I don't have a clue as to Chips' copyright protections. Should I be claiming past profits from web traffic, or just be happy that my one-off college writing career will now apparently outlast anything else I may do in life. Apparently I should accept my destiny as female condom salesman and deja vu mystic.

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